If that was your dad, he is hot
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize