sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize