I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
Love having children with random chicks
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!