8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.