Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
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You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
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And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?