my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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