Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I believe in your delicious
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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