i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Who wears a wallet chain?!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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