Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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