Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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