so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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