is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
