i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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