oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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