She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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