the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
