And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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