I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You've changed since you got that strap on
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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