She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
