im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
