my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
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