These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
im holly from the hills drunk
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
