the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
