my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
bring money and cleavage
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
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Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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