So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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