he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
