Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
