the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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