my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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