We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
