Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
