great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
