I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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