You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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