Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
