Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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