What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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