i don't like sucking hair
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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