i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
MIDGETS
????
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
