your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize