He had one of those small greek statue penises
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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