i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize