FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
