careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
