he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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