Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
