It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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