Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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