i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
