Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
