Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
