Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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