Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dude i'm inner monologue high
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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