My nipple is on Facebook.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
dude. I can hear the air.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize