Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
