I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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