Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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