You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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