Swine flu. Run for my life!
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
