I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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